This is a constant source of distress for me, especially recently. I've been sick for most of October, but I am also bipolar and desperately need to see someone about it. Probably I should just cross the border to Canada and see someone there. It's only like 5 hours away. X__X
My country might be good in some respects, but it treats healthcare like a business instead of a necessity. Fuck. that.
She said she wanted to talk, but that it had to be in person. I was extremely high for the conversation. How could I not be? My secret ex-girlfriend (who'd casually mentioned earlier that "we didn't really date, it was just a thing..." to our best friend) wants to have an in-person chat that seems fairly urgent.
So she's at my house. In my room. Telling me that she didn't realize that I'd felt that way. That she could have done things better, etc. Things my 16-year-old self needed to hear.
But. It's just weird, you know? Whatever she does now, it doesn't change how I felt then. It's-- I'm done. It's over and it's done and she knows and it'll be okay, for what that's worth. It's a stone lifted off of my chest, and I can finally breathe a little better. I didn't realize I was still so upset about it until I wasn't.
The Tracklist A song with an active verb in the title Counting Airplanes -- Train
A song about the news American Pie -- Don McLean (I really couldn't think of what to put here, sorry)
A song that starts with a number 30 Whacks -- Dresden Dolls
A sharp song Light with a Sharpened Edge -- The Used
A song about stars Stars -- Switchfoot (LOL, don't judge me)
An enduring song Whole Wide World -- Wreckless Eric
A song that isn't as nice as it sounds Ldn -- Lily Allen (Because it's all cheerful when you're not listening to the words. There's a great juxtaposition of words/music vs. what the lyrics are saying.)
A song about watching People Watching -- Jack Johnson
A song that compares Fist Vs. Tact -- MxPx
A disdainful song Stupid Girl -- Garbage
A claustrophobic song The Noose -- A Perfect Circle
A song about a city April in Paris -- Ella Fitzgerald